9x15 “Thinman” / 9x18 “Meta Fiction” / 9x19 “Alex Annie Alexis Ann”
In the last few episodes we saw Dean turning a weapon towards himself three times. I am starting to think this is a pattern they are using consciously. Especially because every time the kill happens with a blade. I talked about this a couple of times in this and this post for example. But all of these instances truly make me much more certain that Dean stabbing himself with the first blade (maybe because Abbadon possesses him or maybe because he thinks it’s the only way to keep his loved ones save from himself) is a possibility to how the season might end.
Great catch. He is taking himself to the edge, pushing the act of the kill into the most satisfying violent way , to see what brings him most pleasure, he doesn’t care that the blade is pointing toward him, he doesn’t care if he’ll die, more than that- he craves the near-death feeling, he experience death.
it’s getting darker and darker. when at ‘Thinman’ killing when the ‘victim’ body is pressed to him, feeling the life goes out, kind of killing both of them, he is experiencing death through the body.
In ‘Alex Annie’ that’s not enough for him, he is standing there, but he wants to feel more, he wants the ‘victim’ to look him in the eyes, and then kills him, slowly, deliberately, yet again, when the ‘pointy end’ is toward himself. He is experiencing death through the eyes, the soul.
He is looking for the satisfaction in death through his ‘victims’, the pleasure in oblivion.
Also, he had knives held to his own throat in both “Captives” and in “#THINMAN”, and was remarkably blasé about it - some people thought that in “Captives” he almost leaned into the knife a little. Does he suspect - or know? - that immortality is part of the Mark of Cain’s cost? So that however much he craves his own death, he knows the only way he’ll ever experience it is vicariously?
Part of the Plaid Clan
This friggin’ guy…
What Jody represented in 9x19 was a person devastated by grief and loss coming to terms with the fact that sometimes you can not fill the hole in your life with outside forces, or with other people. She knows she has things she needs to deal with, but she’s not hiding from them anymore. She’s not going to depend on someone else to be the thing that dulls the ache. She’s going to feel the ache because sometimes that’s all you can do. But she is going to live because she is strong, and so is Dean. What she realized in the end is something he will come to know as well.
While Jody represented this grief-stricken but hopeful future, Mama vamp represented the dark co-dependency that lives inside Dean. She also represented John and all of the things he placed on his boys. She is the thing inside his head telling him he can’t change, that this is all there is, that duty and family are everything. She manipulated Alex in to doing what she wanted, convinced her it was all there was, that she had to stay. Alex was terrified of letting her Mama down, and I was reminded of Sam’s confession to Dean in that church. That his greatest sin was all the times he felt he let Dean down.
Dean is co-dependent, but so is Sam, and he wants out. He wants out, but the hope manifested by Jody that lives inside Dean wants out as well. He just doesn’t know how to do it yet. When Jody killed Mama vamp that said to me that no matter how dark things are about to get, in the end Dean will claw his way out of the darkness. Dean will let go. He has to let go. He wants to let go, he just doesn’t know how to yet.
What Jody and Alex had in the end wasn’t a bond that was dependent on one another for survival, but one that acknowledged they can still lean on each other for love and support. This is what Sam and Dean need. Neither of them are ever going to be okay in the traditional sense, not with what they have come to know, and all the grief they have suffered. But what they can have is hope, and a relationship built on shared grief and love that isn’t toxic or suffocating. There is a light at the end of that tunnel, for both Sam and Dean, but in the end they will not choose each other. They will choose themselves, and then the healing can begin.
no but the winchesters in the big city.
bunch of country boys i mean i want them to drive and get stuck in traffic and be all whiny and shit like i want it like air wtf.
i want them to walk on the sidewalks and get pushed around cuz they’re walking too slow, taking up too much space haha get out of the way people got places to be.
want that city to eat them alive.